Climbing out of the fog

Dealing with my mom's passing is proving to be a slow process. One moment I am fine and the next I am overcome with emotion- sadness mostly but also something that hurts more than just sadness. I feel like I am in a post baby fog. Another really hard part has been my instinct to pick up the phone and call my mom every time one of my kids does something funny or when I am sitting in carpool or driving to YW or whenever. The Thursday before she passed was the last time I talked to my mom on the phone and we just had one of our normal conversations. We talked every day. At least once a day. My dad told me that one Friday night after chemo my mom was feeling terrible and was exhausted but she couldn't go to sleep because she hadn't talked to me or one of my sisters (he doesn't remember who it was) and so she picked up the phone and called. I am able to function and deal with normal life for the most part, but there is a feeling like a constant fog is surrounding me and making me forget why I walked into a room or where I put that important paper, etc. In an effort to re-normalize our lives I have been trying to get back to some of the fun things we like to do at Christmastime. Our Christmas will be scaled back this year, but it is actually a huge relief. I was proud that I got my Costco special Christmas cards out even though this is the first time I am sending them without any personal notes. But I got them out! We didn't get a tree, but some friends brought over a huge poinsettia that is taking it's place beautifully. Here are some pictures (not in the right order but that's not really important) of our fun activities so far:

Grinch party at the library. I wouldn't recommend ever under any circumstances making Christmas trees out of upside down sugar cones, green frosting, and assorted candy. Messes of huge proportions. But we watched the Grinch and the kids each got a cute pair of antlers. George didn't want to participate!

Aiden will be missing a class field trip to see The Best Christmas Pageant Ever so I took the kids to see it on Saturday and this is the outfit she put together. Complete with fan in case it got hot in the theater. Birmingham Children's Theatre is really terrific. The only thing that would have made it better would have been if I had remembered the tickets the first time and not had to load everyone back into the car and home to get them.
There was a puppet show at the library and this was the stage decoration. I think it was supposed to be snow and it was really pretty. The puppet show was really great and the puppets were really awesome. I think it was called "Santa's Lost Mail". The kids enjoyed it a lot. I think Elmo did too.
After the show we waited in line to see Santa and Mrs. Claus even though A informed us it probably wasn't the REAL Santa. She didn't hesitate, however, when he asked her what she wanted so maybe she changed her mind. Cate didn't cry and I was thrilled.
And they each got a little toy and ring pop in the shape of a Christmas light.
A had her little Christmas ballet recital and did a great job even though she had missed the last 2 classes.
Oh, the Christmas parade is NOT to be missed. Even if it's at night on a school night and totally freezing cold. I'll tell you why- we came home with more candy that Halloween (not kidding) and at least 20 beads(mardi gras style) as well as plenty of moon pies and some cheese biscuits from Jim N Nicks (which I had to chase down the float to get but that's another story for another day). I've never seen another parade with so much candy that the kids just stop picking it up. As we were walking to the car the street and gutters were just full of candy. It was awesome and that's why we'll be back next year! The picture is terrible but the best one of the night so we'll deal with it.
We also went to an amazing live nativity at a local church. There was a huge line but it was worth standing out in the cold for. There were 13 scenes and it is always so moving seeing the events of the Savior's birth and life being played out by real people. I didn't get any pictures but the kids are begging to go back next year already. I don't know if it was just the hot chocolate and cookies at the end that won them over, but I know we won't miss that either.